Rei Carpenter-Ranquist, a junior at Brattleboro Union High School, is a member of the Teen Advisory Board at Brooks Memorial Library and a mentor at New England Youth Theatre.
BRATTLEBORO-A few weeks ago I was made aware of possible cuts to the Brooks Memorial Library budget and potentially its hours of operation. I'm a huge library supporter. I'm a member of its Teen Advisory Board, which helps choose materials and plan numerous events for teens in the area.
I know the library's value and importance in our town. The idea that we may face even a small decrease in services upsets me.
So I attended one Selectboard meeting and voiced my thoughts about its importance. Two weeks later, I attended a rally in support of the library and then spoke again to the Selectboard about why the library should not face budgetary cuts.
Last Thursday night, April 24, was another Selectboard meeting. I knew they would be making final budget decisions and I really wanted to have my voice heard.
I rearranged my homework plans for the day, read through the meeting agenda, prepared a statement, and made time to attend.
Nearly four hours into the meeting, I raised my hand to speak and took to the microphone. I felt comfortable and was ready to use my voice.
I expected the Selectboard members would listen to my words, thank me, and then either move on or discuss what I spoke about. That's what I had seen thus far in meetings; why would this be any different?
Each member of the public is allotted three minutes to speak at the microphone. I wrote my statement with this in mind and planned to use the full time.
* * *
At less than one minute in, I had again given my opinion on library budget cuts and was about to delve into my main topic - the importance of safe, substance-free spaces and activities for youth and how the town can improve on them - when the chairperson interrupted me.
She told me that the topic I was discussing - cuts to the library budget - was irrelevant because there would be no cuts.
I was confused. In the meetings I had attended, no one had interrupted a speaker like this. My mind started spinning: Oh, no! What happened? What rule did I break? What kind of social etiquette for these types of meetings did I not understand? I'm still new at this - I must have done something wrong!
Being told by the chairperson that the library budget was not being considered for cuts made me second-guess myself. I felt embarrassed: I'm talking about something that isn't even relevant?
I worried I had made a fool of myself in front of a room full of people, on a Zoom livestream full of participants, on local television, and in front of the Selectboard. What had I done?
Then the chairperson told me to "just chill" on my comments.
It was condescending. It was demeaning. It was belittling. I felt self-conscious and reprimanded.
This is all ruined, I thought. I should never go to a Selectboard meeting again!
But then I remembered that I had prepared for this. I had researched the agenda for the meeting. I had written my statement. I had important things to say. My voice was important.
I took a deep breath and tried again. I told them I had a lot to say.
I recommended that the board update the town website, because the library was on the agenda. Two of the board members validated my statement and agreed they should have been clearer during the meeting that they had decided to skip the library cuts when looking at the budget.
I felt slightly less awkward at that point and asked them to clarify that there would be no cuts to the library budget or hours. The entire board confirmed.
I decided to abandon the remainder of my statement about options for youth in town because I no longer felt comfortable speaking in that moment. I thanked the board and walked away from the microphone.
As I crossed the room, the town manager said to the board: "If you're asking me to find 317,000 additional dollars to cut, there will be something at the library. I guarantee it. I don't know what that will be, but it will be something. It will have to be something there."
I instantly felt betrayed. I wanted to march back up to the microphone and shout, "You literally just interrupted my statement to comfort me with the fact that there would not be cuts to the library. I'm not even back at my seat and you're talking about cuts to the library. How can I trust anything you say going forward?"
I was overwhelmed at that point and couldn't gather my thoughts, so instead I went home to do my homework and go to sleep, but not before receiving several messages from people expressing their gratitude for my voice and their disgust at the treatment I received.
* * *
I woke up the next morning to numerous texts and messages of support from a variety of people. Later that day, someone made a post in the Brattleboro, Vermont Facebook group thanking me for my words and apologizing for the way I was treated by the chairperson.
The post was flooded with likes and comments in support of my voice. I was overwhelmed by the number of people who were taking time to support and encourage me. I was surprised that so many people cared.
Then I thought about it, and I realized it wasn't actually surprising at all.
It's Brattleboro. Supporting each other is what we do.
* * *
This experience has lowered my expectations for what the baseline of respect is that the Selectboard shows.
I had seen members of the public talk at length, go over their allotted time limit, and speak rudely. I had heard the Selectboard speak untruthfully, use harmful language, and be disrespectful to those they may not agree with. It was disheartening, but I hadn't really examined it. Until I experienced it for myself.
So, what now?
Well, I think I deserve an apology, but what I really deserved was a chance to make my statement about my hopes for support of youth in this town.
More than an apology, my hope is that the Selectboard is held more accountable for the way they run their meetings and that they are held responsible when they treat people badly or break their own rules of decorum. Being voted into a position of power does not grant anyone the right to treat people disrespectfully. On the contrary, it requires a higher level of self-control and moderation.
Many people have asked me to keep using my voice and speaking up for what I believe in. Remember that inner voice I mentioned? The one that told me, "I should never go to a Selectboard meeting again!"? That voice is gone.
I feel like I have to go back now. Not to say they were rude or to further process this situation, but to stay involved.
This experience reinforced for me that my voice matters.
So does yours.
Everybody has the right to be heard.
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